when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
