You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
