I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
