This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
