I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
