I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
