I have demons in me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
