used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
