Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I had to cum in my sink.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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