You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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