check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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