I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
