I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish you could order shots online.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
