Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
