His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
