So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
