Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
