I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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