pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
