im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
