I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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