I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
