I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
