I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
