we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
