the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
