Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
