I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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