She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
