Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
