even my farts smell like vagina
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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