Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
