only you would photoshop your dick
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
