I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
