Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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