oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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