She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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