You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
