I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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