It was confusing and full of hummus
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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