I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
