great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
