saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
