Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
