Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
