Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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