Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Did I show you my penis last night?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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