Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
