you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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