He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
